I am mostly off of this thing now- Facebook is where it's at, plus my own (gaming related) blog and a guest spot on a group blog.
Annemarie and I are very happy.. we moved in together in 2010. I managed to finally get through the divorce no matter how many attempts were made to stall or complicate it, including moving it from one court to another county for no discernable reason, attempts to have me threatened and intimidated right in front of my kids by some nameless thug, and me taking out a restraining order. Phone threats. From the time I moved out to the time it finally got through the court system was nearly three years.
You might think I'm saying these were tough years. They really weren't. They have so far been the best years I can remember in my adult life
. These were years where I learned so much, discovered so much that was new.. I am literally surrounded by friends now- something I could not have imagined in 2000. I have been having the time of my life with a wonderful, special woman. We travel together, laugh every day, sleep in the same bed every night. It's incredibly normal and affectionate and unlike anything I ever had before. I emerge from the 2000s battle-scarred but feeling victorious about my life. About everything. I ceased therapy at the end of last year.. it was helpful. It helped me recognize some very important things. I'm psychologically armed and armored in ways that I never was before; I'm loved. Thanks to Dr. Susan Minsky for helping with figuring out all of that. As of now I'm giving myself permission not to forgive anything, ever. I simply don't have to.
For Annemarie and I, this will be our third valentine's day together. Our first one was when we had just started going out, really, and we went to this little sushi place we both love and they served us sushi shaped like a heart. ;) We went back last year and got the same thing. This year we'll go again.
I have never had trouble keeping a positive attitude- never. But until these last couple of years, my positivity was an act of rebellion. It was a defiance. It was the most courageous "fuck you" I could think of or manage. I know I was never alone when I did this. Now it just comes naturally. Persistence pays off.